102 Comments

As a fervent cheating Astros hater, I am thrilled by the ass whipping your Royals put on them! Much appreciation for a job well done.

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founding

I’m pretty sure “ Sunny” Hustin is available to be on your Board !

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Apr 11·edited Apr 11

Even as satire, it’s still far more plausible than anything dot Guv these days.

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founding
Apr 11Liked by SimulationCommander

Clever, just not up to your usual standards. Feels forced.

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author

You just hate cats.

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Apr 11Liked by SimulationCommander

SC - Is that Heath Cliff? Need GBS update!!!

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Apr 11Liked by SimulationCommander

Thank you for remembering

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Turns out that money really does grow on trees, Think of all the windstorms blowing them down. WE NEED TO FIX IT FAST! HURRY UP AND GET TO THE ROOT OF IT (while you can still see it in the daylight) BEFORE THEY BLOCK THE SUN! Oh, too late. BUT BILLIONS WILL FIX IT ALL! ALL OF IT I SAY!!! WE'RE DEPENDING ON YOU SIMCOM!!!

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"WE'RE DEPENDING ON YOU SIMCOM!!!"

Folks, it's worse than I thought.....

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founding

Sol was in charge of the local mob gang of enforcers. He was a terror to the community. You didn't mess with Sol. There were so many bodies that there was a cement shortage in town and the lake began to smell.

Or was it "Saul"?

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The story "Nightfall" by Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke (or was it Robert Silverberg?) is about the eclipse to end all eclipses. A true classic! They all go MSLSD and saying more would ruin the ending. Old SciFi is the best SciFi, IMO! Isaac Asimov would have loved Substack but he would have written more than anyone has time to read. That concludes this non-sequitur. Thank you. You may go.

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SC, you have a gift for satire. Keep it up! We need to laugh our way through this absurdity.

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Apr 11Liked by SimulationCommander

> Scientists To End Astrological Lunacy

🖤🖤🖤

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Apr 10Liked by SimulationCommander

Thank goodness you fully explained the STEAL concept! After the first few paragraphs I thought you were auditioning for a spot on The View!

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And don't worry, I ALSO have a solution for the new problems created by our attempts to solve this problem!

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Apr 11Liked by SimulationCommander

The Big Pharma model!

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founding
Apr 10Liked by SimulationCommander

OMG, the comments are as funny as the post! SimCom, you attract all the smartest and wittiest readers!

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author

Best community on Substack!

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founding
Apr 10Liked by SimulationCommander

Bwahahahaha, I see you’re using the Biden Fuzzy Math again!

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I already gave to Scientists QUickly Ending Astrological Lunacy - they beat you to it.

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author

IMPOSTERS! We need a swift and coordinated takedown of these fringe scientists.

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A local optometrist is recycling eclipse glasses to send to folks where the next eclipse will rake the planet with deadly photons. As I dropped mine off today he was standing nearby and I said "so much for worrying about COVID anymore". He burst out laughing.

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But the moon masks the sun. And if the earth and sun align...we are both blocking the sun...hence double eclipsing the sun.

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I'm going to need you to head up another team to deal with this breakthrough discovery.....

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Apr 10Liked by SimulationCommander

What did his scarf lady, Dr. Bossy Pants "Debby Does Lockdowns" Birx, have to say? She did close the schools, we hope.

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"In this country, we are taking a wide view of this tragedy, so we're counting anybody who died WITH eclipse as an eclipse death."

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