37 Comments
User's avatar
Mrs. McFarland's avatar

I’m concerned that a large number of my new acquaintances on Substack are cat lovers....and multiple cat owners.....

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SimulationCommander's avatar

I think there might be a correlation between cat lovers and BS detectors.

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Mrs. McFarland's avatar

I don’t know… they’re somewhat like the government, you give and give and give and what do you get in return ? Not much 😝😝😝😝

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Squeaky purrs late at night as they fall asleep. Kitty kisses. Dead mice.

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Diana's avatar

The principal at our homeschool often tells our kids to stop working as soon as they've opened their books (I guess math textbooks are almost as comfortable as keyboards?). I question her pedagogical methods but her body language makes it quite clear that we're not to dissent.

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Rikard's avatar

Now try it with 45 kilos German Shepherd/Golden Retriever mix.

"Don't be too proud of your technological gadgets; the power to tap keys is nothing compared to the awesome power of these armed and fully operational Death Jaws."

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Ray's avatar

he looks like a cat in my neighbourhood, extremely friendly and likes belly rubs, i dont know his name so i call him swishy tail

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CaliforniaLost's avatar

Let me guess, your editor proposed naps all day, long sullen silences, tuna breakfasts, and a nocturnal existence? Who would have guessed...

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SimulationCommander's avatar

As well as multiple spirited bouts of 'mouse toy that squeaks when I hit it'.

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AisforApril's avatar

There is nothing funner than putting together a jigsaw puzzle with a cat...add a piece, pick up 8 pieces off the floor, repeat, repeat, repeat.

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Timothy Andrew Staples/pop122's avatar

My little Miaou once found the piece I had been looking for forever! But usually he just slept in the box.

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Bill Heath's avatar

In one of my few successful novels, the opening scene is the murder of an elderly widow who owned three cats: Astrophe, Atonic and Yleptic.

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AndyinBC's avatar

A very familiar view. My editor even has similar markings. Ain't cats wonderful.

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LJ's avatar

My cat (RIP) liked to sit on my Bible while I was trying to read it. Some people tried to tell me he was super spiritual. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Riiiiight.

Wish I had a pic. But I didn’t own smart phone back them. It was super cute.

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SCA's avatar

I'm finding it increasingly painful to be shown everyone's gorgeous cats...

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Scuba Cat's avatar

My cat would like to offer this in response: rtddtyfugguhvtxtxohojugycrs

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SimulationCommander's avatar

A fair point.

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baker charlie's avatar

But he's an Orange cat?! (runs gibbering off into the distance...)

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Orange Cat Good!

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Matt330's avatar

What is his name?

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Gangsta'. We brought him home and he immediately threw claws at the then-reigning puppers in the house. Now he runs the place. If I could get the "King Biggie" picture photoshopped with G, I'd hang that thing in the living room.

https://www.okayplayer.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/unnamed-2.jpg

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Timothy Andrew Staples/pop122's avatar

Hang a mini-pic on his gold chain collar.

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The Ungovernable's avatar

So who’s the editor in this scenario?

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SimulationCommander's avatar

He is. Haven't you ever wondered why my writing is incoherent? ;)

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Timothy Andrew Staples/pop122's avatar

Apparently, so does Gangsta! (devil emoji here)

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SimulationCommander's avatar

😈

(getemoji.com, cut and paste)

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Timothy Andrew Staples/pop122's avatar

Don't encourage me! (I post too much as it is. Can you just see the nodding head emojis?)

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LJ's avatar

No, cats help with coherency. Ask El Gato.

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SimulationCommander's avatar

I put him in charge of everything but the shift key. ;)

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The Ungovernable's avatar

Now it all makes so much more sense!

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tim harris's avatar

Yet you made post anyway!!! :)

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Timothy Andrew Staples/pop122's avatar

Looks like you can still access the ESC key. Editor trying to tell you something?

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SimulationCommander's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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John's avatar

I can so relate...break time.

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SimulationCommander's avatar

I can't be too mad, my mousepad is a sketched cat flipping off the camera and the phrase "I do what I want".

I think that's G's motto.

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