Stuff So Dumb You Can't Believe It's Happening

But it is. It really, really is.

So here’s some stuff that got missed while I was diving into the world of Payton Gendron.

The criminal trial of Clinton campaign lawyer Michael Sussmann took an explosive turn on Friday, when 2016 Clinton Campaign Manager Robby Mook stated that Hillary knew about the plan to leak the bogus Alfa Bank/Trump ‘scandal’. Sussmann had met with the FBI to pass along the ‘information’, but neglected to mention that he was Clinton’s lawyer. He is on trial for lying to the FBI.

Sussman has pled not guilty and maintains he was a private citizen when the meeting took place, and not there on behalf of a client:

Mook and another top Clinton campaign official, general counsel Marc Elias, reinforced that assertion this week on the witness stand. They both testified they didn't authorize or direct Sussmann to go to the FBI with the explosive Trump tip. Mook said Friday that he didn't even know who Sussmann was during the 2016 campaign, and would've opposed an FBI meeting.

"Going to the FBI does not seem like an effective way to get information out to the public," Mook said. "You do that through the media, which is why the information was shared with the media."

Of course, this misses the most obvious point: Without the FBI ‘investigation’, there was no story at all to begin with. The point of leaking it to the FBI before the press is to grant the story legitimacy it didn’t have.

Somehow this tweet is still up:

Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton

Computer scientists have apparently uncovered a covert server linking the Trump Organization to a Russian-based bank.

Some might even say the walls are closing in.

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Has it been long enough that you miss Bushisms?

HAHAHAHA! Remember when we lied our way into Iraq and killed thousands and thousands of people? It was so funny how we also spent trillions of borrowed dollars overseas instead of at home! Hilarious!

This was the funniest bit since Bush joked about looking for weapons of mass destruction in the White House:

But GW got to fly onto a carrier and declare MISSION ACCOMPLISHED with his oversized codpiece, and Haliburton made record profits, so we’ll just call it square, ya?

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Like the world’s most loathsome Jason Voorhees, the Disinformation Governance Board won’t stay dead. DHS claims the Board was destroyed by the very thing they claimed to be formed to fight — disinformation. The issue of what to do with the agency is now in the hands of none other than Bush’s fellow ‘Terrible 2000s political figure’ Michael Chertoff, who not only served as Bush’s Secretary of Homeland Security, he literally co-wrote the USA PATRIOT Act!

In 2004, if you would have told me that it would only take 20 years for Democrats to be cheering an author of the USA PATRIOT Act while he decides what to do about ‘misinformation’, I would have called you crazy.

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The adults are back in charge, and troops are back in Somalia. It’s unclear if this is simply because Joe Biden thinks it’s 1994.

Joe Biden recently proclaimed that the US will intervene militarily to defend Taiwan from a Chinese invasion, before the adults in charge clarified that Biden doesn’t actually speak for the White House.

White House officials later said that Biden simply meant the US would provide military equipment to Taiwan, not send troops to defend the island if China attacks, which would constitute a landmark shift in policy.

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Finally, in the world’s most ironic announcement, Belarus bans the sale of 1984. But now how will everybody realize they actually love Big Brother?