The Swamp Strikes Back

Dec 20, 2024

In our last thrilling episode of Star Chamber Wars, the underdog alliance scored a first important victory against the Dark Blob, soundly rejecting a 1500-page monstrosity filled with nonsense unrelated to keeping the government functioning.

Far and wide, (tiny) cries of victory were heard as the people celebrated their surprising win — and compounded when yesterday’s monstrosity was replaced with a mostly acceptable “clean” version.

I scanned through this while waiting for today’s vote result — no stadium, no pandemic rules, no year-long extension of the Global Engagement Center, no funding for biolabs, no ability to ignore subpoenas, and no 40% pay raise……although this version DOES raise the debt ceiling for another two years.

But that brings us to today’s proceedings. Democratic House Appropriations Committee Chair Representative Rosa DeLauro delivered her party’s closing arguments and urged her colleagues to vote “no” on the bill:

This argument that “we had a deal” was repeated over and over during the Democrats’ 20 minutes of discussion — as if whatever the politicians cook up in the back room should be binding, and the American people should have no input into the process.

HOW DARE YOU NOT VOTE FOR THIS 1500-PAGE BILL 24 HOURS AFTER WE DROPPED IT ON YOU!

And although DeLauro got some applause with her “President Musk” line, the truth is that EVERY SINGLE thread I read on EVERY platform about the bill was full of comments from angry Americans NOT named Elon Musk. Hinting that Americans were “tricked” into opposing the bill by Elon isn’t going to fly when the Democrats don’t even try to defend the most ridiculous stuff in the bill.

On the other hand, Republican Representative Tom Cole pointed out that Democrats weren’t opposed to anything that was actually in the bill — only what WASN’T in the bill.

I’m not sure how the Democrats are going to be able to blame the Republicans for the shutdown when they’re the ones voting “no” on the bill to keep the government open, but that’s apparently going to be their play.

Of course, no House vote would be complete without Representative Chip Roy ranting about government spending. In today’s case, he’s pissed the bill suspends some normal Pay-as-you-go rules and raises the debt ceiling.

I love me a good Chip Roy rant, but it’s not really fair to say that raising the debt ceiling is the same as raising the debt. Other than that, he’s spot on.

So what happened? Hint: The name of the article is “The Swamp Strikes Back”