Life as a Bard

And other pawsitivity

(Note for new subscribers: On Monday, I recap some of the positive stories/funny memes I’ve come across in the last week. Feel free to add your own in the comments!)

My Happy folder is a little thin this week, which actually works out well because I want to hijack part today’s Monday pawsitivity post to share the things that make me happy — mainly, YOU!

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Now and then during my youth, I got roped into a “Dungeons and Dragons” campaign that needed an extra player. Mostly I didn’t mind (though I hated the glacial pace of the game itself), because though I was mostly a “jock”, I also enjoyed reading — including fantasy books set in “D&D” worlds. Sometimes I’d play a nimble archer, sometimes a stalwart paladin, sometimes a crafty wizard.

Never once did I even consider playing a bard.

Weak in combat and with ‘wussy’ abilities, (A high charisma score? How does that help me bash heads?) I considered bards to be the neglected stepson of the D&D universe.

As I got older (and role-playing games got better), my views on bards evolved a little. It turns out there’s a lot more to D&D (and life) than just combat. Bards and their high charisma scores are perfect to extract a piece of critical information or pull off an incredible bluff.

Sure, it’s neat to rampage through the goblin village and kill its leader. But what if you could convince that leader to attend a ‘great feast’ where the bard regales the goblins with wonderous tales — at least until they are drunk enough to dispatch with ease. Isn’t that neat, too?

And it turns out that bards do a lot more than sing and dance:

Bards are the people who travel the land, listen to the people, and repeat their stories. They write the history books and the live-action plays and know the latest gossip. You have perhaps heard of this bard?

The Original Bard

At some point during this last year, it hit me like a ton of bricks — in real life I’M A FUCKING BARD! Somebody who knows a lot of random stuff, converses with people about important matters, and spreads word of current events — all enabled by generous patrons……..

My reaction to the realization

It’s been almost exactly a year since my last big ‘freelance’ client bailed on me and I decided to start Screaming full-time. I had no idea if this would work out — as SCA says “Nobody is owed a living from Substack” — because depending on income from an anti-authority newsletter at a time in which the establishment is cracking down on dissent seems like an incredibly stupid move. (One only a bard might make.)

Despite these long odds, I’m still here Screaming — and that’s 100% thanks to you guys. It still kind of blows my mind that anybody cares what I have to say — much less would actually pay for it — and I’m incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to keep doing this for a living.

So thank you — no matter how you support Screaming into the Void, it wouldn’t be possible without you! Now when people ask what I do for a living, I’ll look ‘em dead in the eye and say “I’m a bard.”

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We now return to your regularly scheduled Monday.

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I’m not sure if there’s such a thing as “too much cat”, but if there is……

I have enough trouble keeping Gangster in line at normal size!

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Given our insane identity progression, it was only a matter of time before dogs were affected as well……

If only humans were so adorable.

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Last Monday, I featured this photo of Katie Ledecky winning the gold in the 1500-meter women’s freestyle in overwhelming fashion:

This week, I came across this poolside video that shows exactly how dominating she was:

She won by so much I think she gets the 2028 gold by default!

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This one is kind of old, but it makes me happy every time I see it, so………

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You’re gonna want to have some Kleenex nearby for this net set of videos. This is Donald — a 90-year-old veteran who’s taking care of his dementia-ridden wife. The bills were piling up and Donald was forced to pawn some of his wife’s jewelry to help. But when he went back to the pawn shop to make a payment, Donald got a surprise!

And the story didn’t end there! When the above footage went viral, the GoFundMe set up for Donald (without his knowledge) exploded. Donations came pouring in from all around the globe to help Donald and his wife:

As of this writing, the fundraiser is closing in on $400,000!

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That gives me a case of the Americas!

That’s what I’ve got for this Monday — I better send this out before it’s Tuesday! What made you happy in the last week? Let everybody know in the comments below!

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