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Timothy Andrew Staples/pop122's avatar

Niners? Not Seahawks?

Seattle gave us a good half, which is all they had this year.

The Brock Purdy story is awesome! Picked last in the draft.

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NatteringNaybob's avatar

SC- Re: Playoffs - 1st half matador D should have bought a ticket & O couldn't close deal - convert. That's Shenanigans play calling on opponents side of field where he always switches up, needs to learn Lombardi method, until they stop it, keep doing it. 2nd half - that's called putting your foot down and resilience. Rooting for Worsemen to fend off Military Insects, sends Jerry's Kid's or Tommy Bay to to do some dirtywork at Hurts Cheesesteaks. 9's get the lame duck and perhaps even host title game, either way vs tapped out team, all deja vu from last year. But this year their real Purdy BoyZ - no rookie QB (starter or sub) has made it past the conference championship game - all TBD and there's a first time for everything. This is the way.

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NatteringNaybob's avatar

SC - It doesn't get any better, Bonnie's a real sweetheart. Time for her and Mr. G to come in for a tender vittles dinner. This is the way.

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Rikard's avatar

Here's a downside to using a pseudonym and/or not having much or any online presence:

"We tried to Google you before this interview, it's a standard procedure nowadays with potential new employees, and we couldn't find anything about you. That is highly problematic in our eyes. Would you like to say something about why you don't have an online presence?"*

Dosn't matter how you reply, the question is just corporate courtesy (how's that for a contradiction of terms?) before concluding the interview, and you wont get that job.

It doesn't help if you explain that you use the relevant tech to keep your professional, personal and private lives separate: it makes one look suspicious.

Nope. Being a private individual without a criminal record but also without any real presence in social media is seen as a liability.

*And this when applying for work as a teacher in a municipal school. In Sweden state/county may not investigate you that way. Only relevant credentials and safety concerns may be investigated Do they care? H*ll no. Is there any consequences for official authorities ignoring law and procedure? H*ll no, they do it with tacit party/system approval. And if they find out you're in the wrong party or other group deemed politically incorrect, you're fired in direct contravention of the law, which explicitly forbids termination on grounds of political opinion/affiliation.

Complain too loudly and you're blacklisted.

In the USSR and its satellites, they used to have this thing called a Party Book where you got marks for going to meetings and so on. Too few marks could be a signal of potential disloyalty; too many as a sign of you being an agent.

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The Beach Is My Bliss's avatar

Aw, tabbies are the best!

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Yuma's Freezing's avatar

That was wonderful!! My tamed feral is about that size, maybe a little smaller, but her face looks like your kitty's face. Yay - she's letting you touch her!!!

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veggie warrior's avatar

Worth having to watch part of the dental gum restoration ad for that!

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Wait what

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Mrs. McFarland's avatar

My name is Martha and I must confess since meeting you fine feline folks, I have watched maybe a few cat videos on Instagram! Yup, there’s hope for me.

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baboon's avatar

Hey SC, Happy Weekend!

I came across this on 4Chan earlier and absolutely had to share it with you. Cops in a truly Libertarian Society:

"I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.

“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”

“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”

“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”

The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”

“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”

“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”

He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”

I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.

“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.

“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.

“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”

It didn’t seem like they did.

“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”

Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.

I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.

“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.

Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.

“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.

I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”

He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.

“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.

“Because I was afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”

I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.

“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”

He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

=========

Funniest thing I have read all week. 😂

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Here's a similar skit: Libertarian James Bond

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G94n14eTfUQ

:30-:40 is my favorite part

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baboon's avatar

I should say that isn't particularly British. In the UK we would order a double LSD. 😂

The only time I have ever heard "fingers" being used as a unit of measurement was drinking with Irish people. Drinking homemade poitín with Irish people is....the worst thing I have ever done in my entire life. And I've done some really stupid, crazy things in my life....

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baboon's avatar

That is very true. We had a drinking competition. I got to the final....and lost badly. I'm pretty certain the guy I lost to was still drinking when I woke up.

Jeysus.

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baboon's avatar

That's brilliant, thank you. 😂

Two fingers of LSD! Classic!

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SimulationCommander's avatar

I love that one!

It's unforgivable to have a gun you need to put a quarter into, though. The free market solves this problem! :)

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baboon's avatar

Hey SC, I think the idea is that the cop equipment was all private and rented on a "pay as you use" basis. The free market solves all as you say!

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Yes, but any cop worth his salt would have a pre-payment arrangement made! It's like these people don't even voluntary transaction! ;)

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baboon's avatar

This is way spicier.

https://vocaroo.com/1bELD0DxQ5H6

I vaxxed myself, today

To see if it still kills

Try an focus on the clots

the only thing, that's real

The needle tears a hole

The old familiar pain

Try and cope and sneed away

But I fucked, everything

Why am I so dumb

My unvaxxed friend?

Everyone who's vaxxed

Goes away, in the end

And I have all the shots

My arteries are clogged

I will grab my chest

I know my death will hurt

I wear my mask of shame

Upon my onions stained face

Full of programmed thoughts

I cannot unsnare

Beneath the stains of of time

My life will disappear

You are still unvaxxed

I'm no longer here

Why am I so dumb?

My unvaxxed friend?

Everyone who's vaxxed

Goes away, in the end

And I have all the shots

My arteries are clogged

I will grab my chest

I know my death will hurt

If I could vax again

A million shots a day

I would still gets clots

I would still, be ***

====

Too little too late but I respect protest music.

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baboon's avatar

This is clearly not in the best possible taste, but holy shit 4Chan is knocking it out of the park at the moment:

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,

I'm a pureblood man: no time to talk.

Music loud and women hot,

I ain't never gonna get the shot.

And now it's all right. It's OK.

you took the MRNA.

We ain't gonna understand

The covid vaxx effect on man.

CHORUS

Ooh, there goes another

And there, there drops another,

We're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Feel the fever breakin'

And everybody shakin',

But we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

(i'm just not gonna get it)

Well, now, I get low and you get clott,

We tried to tell ya, but you got the shot.

Got my Ivermectin, horse paste tubes,

Anti-vaxxin' man and I just can't lose.

You know it's all right. It's OK.

I'll live to see another day.

We could try to understand

But you've got necrosis in ya hand.

CHORUS

Lifes goin' nowhere. Nobody help yeh.

Nobody help ya, yeah.

Lifes goin' nowhere. Nobody help ya, yeah.

but we're Stayin' alive.

Oh you can tell by the way the jabbies talk,

NPCs are real: no brain for thought.

Just repeat the current thing

and put untested drugs into their veins

And now it's all right. It's OK.

you took the MRNA.

you're never gonna think about

how you're time is runnin out

CHORUS

Lifes goin' nowhere. Nobody help yeh.

Nobody help ya, yeah.

Lifes goin' nowhere. Nobody help ya, yeah.

but we're Stayin' alive.

https://vocaroo.com/1nLPYY4Qpqqf

The threads about vaccine greatest hits I assumed were just people writing lyrics, never thought people were actually making recordings as well. Holy kek.

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baboon's avatar

Yep. Hilarious. Not cringe. Listenable. Bob Dylan in 1965 would have approved I feel.

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baboon's avatar

LOL!

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Rosemary B's avatar

awwwww so adorrrrable and sweet. She needs to come inside and join the party

So pretty

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The Ungovernable's avatar

But how well does the kitty handle the infamous "laser pointer" battle?

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Baltimoracle's avatar

'9ers? ... thought u were a Pac NW 'er guy

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SimulationCommander's avatar

I grew up during the Montana/Rice/Lott years, and the Niners were on basically every week. Back then the Seahawks were in the AFC so you could root for both 'local' teams. When the Seahawks moved to the NFC, one of them had to go.......

I still hope the 'Hawks do well once the Niners have been eliminated, but the Lynch play was unforgivable.

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Arne's avatar

It's hard to root for the Seahawks when you know Jay Inslee wants them to win (clip at https://twitter.com/KatieDaviscourt/status/1613280886023389184); knowing Newsom wants the 49ers to win doesn't offset that. One of those instances where Twitter spoils something.

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Baltimoracle's avatar

OK, so when the Kraken hoists the Cup this June you WILL say, " Yup, I been with ' em since the very beginning!"

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Winter is for basketball!

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Baltimoracle's avatar

'Zags ?

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Mrs. McFarland's avatar

Incognito would be better... I’ve received one cryptic FB message inquiring if I was the same Martha commenting on so and so’s Substack about POTUS....

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The Ungovernable's avatar

That’s creepy AF!

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Mrs. McFarland's avatar

Yup.. for more reasons than I share in public.

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Denise Chukker's avatar

Awwww……Bonnie-of-the-Jeep is very adorable and you are really making progress.

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Denise Chukker's avatar

And, you’re petting her in the second video…….she definitely belongs to you and Gangster….no doubt.

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Yep, that's first "pet me" was the reason I took the camera out the second time. Figured you guys would like an update :)

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Integrity and Karma's avatar

Yes!!! And thankee. 😊

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Rosemary B's avatar

squeeeee😇❣️🐯❤️

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SimulationCommander's avatar

I didn't catch it on camera, but today when I went to fill up her bowl, she was nowhere to be seen. But as soon as I adjusted her fishing toy in the jeep, she came running from the tall grass. (That was the first legit "pet me!" moment)

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Denise Chukker's avatar

That deserves an OH, GOD.

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JudyC's avatar

Loved the update. Feral kitty just about unferal! And all that rolling and belly exposing….!!! Beautiful cat, too.

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SimulationCommander's avatar

Yep! She's been doing the happy kitty roll a lot, just out of reach.

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JudyC's avatar

You got yourself a new cat!

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