Biden Speaks About Inflation Without Saying Anything
Today, Joe Biden is going to stumble his way through a speech on inflation! Let’s follow along!
(As is typical, Biden is 10+ minutes late already. I spent far too much of my life waiting for this guy to show up to his own press events. Now he’s 20 minutes late! 30 minutes! How’s everybody’s morning going?)
Today I’m going to talk about inflation! It won’t be the last time, that’s for sure. But luckily things are going super awesome! We’ve added lots of jobs and done a lot to curb inflation! Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I do! Our economy is no longer on the mend, it’s on the move! But with all those gains, people are still hurting because of inflation. I remember what it was like to be poor, like a hundred years ago. When gas prices went up back then, we felt it!
Inflation is the fault of covid. Covid shut down the global economy. Once again, this WAS NOT our response to covid, it was the virus itself. Repeat this until you believe it.
Then Putin’s war caused more inflation! 60% of inflation in one month was after the war started, so obviously that’s Putin’s fault. Don’t pay attention to the rest of the inflation. Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin! Putin Putin Putin!
But we can do some things! The Fed is going do just as well as they have the last two decades, because I hire the best people. The Fed will do it’s job, even though they are independent like Tony Fauci.
We have two paths forward: My plan lowers costs and the deficit by asking rich people not to price gouge and making them pay more. The REPUBLICANS want to tax everybody BUT the rich people! My plan is obviously better, and I’ll explain why. But first, Putin Putin Putin Putin!
We released a bunch of oil from our Strategic Petroleum Reserve! Don’t think about the fact that we’re going to have to replace that oil at higher prices than we’re selling it for. Just lie back and think of England.
Clearly the way to fight inflation is to give tax credits to Americans! This is MUCH DIFFERENT than the Republican idea of allowing Americans to keep their own money.
Under my plan, oil companies would pay taxes on sites that they aren’t drilling! This solves the problem, unlike the Republicans who have no plan at all. Wouldn’t you rather have a Biden plan than no plan?
Another common-sense idea I have is to allow Medicare to negotiate prices! We all know that government is super worried about how they spend your money, that’s why we’re getting ready to ship $40 billion over to Ukraine. Besides, price controls ALWAYS work, and there are never any unintended consequences of the policy! It’s like rent control, but for everything!
If you can’t get supplies, prices go up! What we’re gonna do is inject government all over the supply chain like WD40! We’re going to hire truckers that those stupid capitalists refuse to hire! We’re going to open meat processing plants so prices come down, because capitalists are always price gouging.
My plan is good. The Republican plan is terrible! I want Americans to have money in their pockets at the end of the month, because they’re going to need something to burn when they can’t pay their heating bills. Republicans are terrible! All this spending we are doing shouldn’t be paid for, just throw it on the nation’s credit card and inflate it away!
Companies are making record profits right now! Of course, this is like the ‘highest grossing’ movie, which keeps changing because ticket prices are raised every year. All these companies aren’t paying their fair share, so we’re going to tax these corporations, which somehow aren’t Americans?!?!?!? and that’s going to fix everything.
Have I mentioned that Republicans are terrible? They want to cancel huge programs like Social Security and Medicare unless Congress renews them! That’s not Democracy! Democracy is me cementing these programs for the lifetime of the country…….which I’m estimating is about two more years. These Republicans are terrible! I can’t believe they wrote stuff down!
Lastly, let’s talk about the deficit. Republicans like to talk about how spending drives inflation. But Trump spent a lot of money, too! Tons and tons of money in veto-proof covid bills! We reduced the deficit a bunch this year! Don’t pay attention to the fact that I just said Trump spent tons of money on Covid bills and we’re not doing that anymore. My buddy Obama taught me this trick in 2009. When government spends a shitload of money on an emergency, turn that record expenditure into the new baseline!
So in conclusion, Republicans are terrible. So bad. So bad. Think about it. So bad. They gave you huge tax cuts when they were in charge! I want to give you tax credits to keep money in your pocket! Totally different.
I understand you’re frustrated, but the fact is that this is completely the Republicans fault. Even though we hold all branches of government and don’t need a single Republican vote, it’s all their fault we can’t get anything done! Think about it!
Let’s build on all the progress we’ve made, and may God protect the troops.
“Why do so many Americans think you’re not doing enough?”
Probably because we control all three branches of government. But we don’t really! It’s 50-50 in the Senate! Americans are frustrated because there’s a lot we have to do, and none of it is actually working. That’s why I need to explain to people how dumb they are and how much I’m actually helping them! They understand but they don’t. The vast majority of Americans want government to take care of the problem and not to have to think about it, but that’s not happening so they’re confused. Plus there’s the war, people don’t understand why we’re not fighting this war.
“Do you take any responsibility?”
Clearly our policies help! Super smart people say this is a tough problem to solve, but it’s NOT the spending. That’s for sure! We’re reducing spending so we only spend 6 trillion a year!
“What about telling Americans not to drive?”
Oh, they’re doing it on their own because they can’t afford gas. Our infrastructure bill is going to help, though! We’re gonna build trains like in California! When people can’t afford doing stuff, they will naturally stop doing it. That’s basically our plan to get you to own nothing and be happy. But it’s hard because Russia sells oil that we’re refusing to buy and they’re still getting rich, nobody could have seen that coming.
Basically, this is the fault of the ULTRA MAGA REPUBLICANS who control the Republican party.
“A year ago you said inflation was transitory. Why are you right now?”
Well we don’t really know what inflation is going to do, but we’re going to spend tons of money to try to fight it. Peace.
Edit: Here’s the actual speech. NBC news thankfully left the 20+ minutes of dead air in case you want to recreate the thrill of the moment!
They are using hyper inflation in concert with other things to try to take down America.
Biden is a NWO traitor
Record profits for big companies? LMFAO. Yes: drug companies, "vaccine" companies, "testing" companies, hospitals, big media, bomb and missile manufacturers and a few others who have only prospered because government stole two generations of wealth by printing money out of thin air and giving it to them in the name of a fake emergency. I only have 6 months of college education and even I can see through this insane charade.