America: 250 and Counting

(Those of us who can still count, anyway)

(Note for new subscribers: On Monday, I recap some of the positive stories/funny memes I’ve come across in the last week. Feel free to add your own in the comments!)

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Hello, Screamers! Hope everybody enjoyed the holiday weekend and still has as many fingers as you started with! As you may or may not remember, I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions, because why not just start today, July 6th? However, I AM a huge supporter of THIS idea:

Writing up the list should keep me busy until next Independence Day…

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It’s not EXACTLY positive, but I’ve been enjoying the hell out of the (most recent) Graham Platner blowup:

Mostly I’ve been enjoying how everybody who mindlessly repeated “Vote blue no matter who” has been defending this guy for months, only for them to pull endorsements as it comes out maybe the guy with the Nazi tattoo isn’t a great Senate candidate.

If only there were signs.

Ironically, this probably improves the Democrats chances in the race — but at least Platner will be out on his ass. (I still think Collins wins.)

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Around here, we feature a lot of working dogs, but they’re rarely INDOOR working dogs like this good boy!

I’m not sure who’s having more fun, the dog or the guy zooming through the mall!

But if I had to bet, I’d bet on the dog:

Belgian Malinois are not like other high-energy dogs. Their energy comes from a strong wish to work. This breed was bred for jobs like herding and military work. Because of this, they have a special mix of traits:

• High activity levels: They need a lot of exercise to be happy.

• Intelligence: They need mental challenges to keep their minds busy.

• Strong focus: They do well in tasks that need concentration and hard work.

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How bad have the Royals been this year? Bad enough that they’re the butt of jokes at the Babylon Bee:

While the team’s performance on the field has been disappointing (to say the least), there was a very bright spot out of Kaufmann stadium this week when the team held a special 50/50 drawing to benefit victims of the recent earthquakes in Columbia:

As fate would have it, Venezuelan native Jorge Guevara won the drawing — and immediately donated his half of the jackpot as well!

With a winning ticket, Guevara won $13,679. But he never went back on his word. He quickly told the Royals that all of his winnings would go right back to the relief efforts, so the organization could donate the full $27,358 raised before and during Tuesday’s game to Venezuela, as the country recovers from two consecutive and powerful earthquakes that devastated communities in Caracas (Guevara’s hometown), La Guaira and surrounding areas on June 24.

“All I could think when I purchased the ticket, I was just praying: ‘God, help me win this so I can send the money back home,’” Guevara said. “So we can make it happen. This is my hometown. From the beginning, it never was my money. It was God’s money; it was Venezuela’s money. Everything worked out for a reason. I feel like I was chosen, and it’s my time to make this bigger.”

Today, the Royals had Guevara throw out the ceremonial first pitch (to Royals legend Salvador Perez, of course).

Perhaps inspired by Guevara, the Royals scored in every inning they hit and won the game 15-1.

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Finally, there’s an upside to disappearance of physical media:

It’s probably for the best. I’ve been on the waiting list for that thing for AGES.

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One of the wonderful things about the Fourth of July is the amazing videos we get the next day:

(I won’t lie, we had a similar hilarious experience here on the Fourth, but I wasn’t recording because I’m not psychotic.)

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It’s not often that an image sends me into a uncontrollable rage, but…

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I must counter the anger with happy cows touching grass for the first time of the year:

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Special thanks to GenChang for this amazing rescue video!

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Did you miss the fireworks in DC due to the delayed start? Here’s the entire show in just under 5 minutes!

Some people were not impressed with the display — and you could probably guess who:

That’s what I found for you this week, Screamers! Hopefully you found something that will help you power through this upcoming work week! (And an aside, July 5th should be a holiday, too. It’s a little hilarious to celebrate freedom at 10 pm and then head off to work at 6 am the next day.)

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